Another morning and I am in deep conversation with my computer – my e-mail to be specific. Before I finish my coffee I have invented new swear words to fling at those who’ve invaded my e-space with demands traveling under guise of information. And maybe I am just a crank leftover from the ‘70s – I am told crankiness is a condition to be expected after so many years of watching the world retreat from its ’70’s promise of peace, love and happiness. Below I present a small sample of the items that litter my e-mail inbox along with my running commentary on the barrage of cultural spam. (I’ll try to limit expletives for the sensitive but please know there are times when no other word will suffice). gdf
FROM: LinkedIn Updates :
I retired almost 7 years ago and now I get tons of info regarding up and coming linked-in professionals (friends and former students) — my message to them: save your money and retire early. If you can’t – then never, ever work at a job that saps your soul of all compassion. Better yet, never work at a job that you absolutely can not flip-off when they ask you to do the unthinkable. Fight devolution and ignorance — everyday!
FROM: firstname.lastname@example.org subject: “Venezuela, Malaysia, Angola,New Zealand win U.N. Council seats; Apple Pay Will Launch October 20″
Good for Angola, New Zealand and Malaysia; Apple pay? — riiiight – apple pays for nothing not even taxes. If you don’t believe me follow the link -> How to make $30 billion and pay no corporate income tax, the … http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/ 2013/05/20/how…
FROM: email@example.com subject: ” DEMOCRATIC DOOM
Democrats are doomed because democrats don’t vote (Not enough anyway).
FROM: Republican catastrophe : Campaigns@dailykos.com
We can only hope
FROM: firstname.lastname@example.org subject: “Congratulate Deborah S.
Another Compton alumnus done good… congrats Deborah
FROM: email@example.com subject: “NOT asking for money: (sign this!)”
Don’t believe it! There’s a request in there somewhere – this is politics after all. And how about the dscc paying ME for my signature!?
FROM: A firstname.lastname@example.org
A battleground? Tell me something I don’t know
FROM: NOT asking for money: (sign this!)
FROM: email@example.com subject: “Fighting Ebola”
I find this frightening – (I read The Hot Zone twice) as our “congressional leaders” will turn this catastrophe into the old “blame game” blaming the president for everything – obfuscating the truth of lock-step disapproval of anything the African-American president suggests e.g. surgeon general candidates. Our president is not perfect but I cannot lay this at his doorstep. Texas – yeah! let’s blame Texas.
FROM: Candice Owley, AFT firstname.lastname@example.org
American Federation of Teachers? I’m a retired activist but I won’t open this because I know what you’ll tell me – vote. I will.
FROM: Fighting Ebola
Shopping in Ithaca, NY and the hand sanitizer dispenser is empty – I fight the urge to clean the shopping cart handle with my spit. Thought the lady in front of me was going to faint when I spoke my intentions out loud. Hey, if you can’t trust your own spit – what can you trust? (I did find sanitizer though – get a grip).
FROM: email@example.com subject: “Right-wing bishops attack Pope Francis “betrayal”
Ah – the faithful — as a very fallen-away Catholic I should not be surprised (but I am) that God has been politicized like everything else.
FROM: Michael Sherrard, Faithful America
Not a week goes by that I don’t feel some sense of gratitude that my beloved, devout Catholic grandmother is not alive to witness the deterioration of her faith – in the unseen, nature, karma, cosmos, and above all the decency in the human spirit. Sorry Gram.
FROM: Rite Aid Online Store firstname.lastname@example.org
I’m sure I need meds but crankiness pills are labeled a schedule 2 – drug not to be purchased on-line – Damn!
FROM: email@example.com subject: “A tipping point”
My dear Mr. President I danced at your election – both of them – and I think you want to do the right thing but I do believe the office of the president is controlled by the plutocrats and the military industrial complex – and they are bigger and stronger than you. I am so sad to have to say this. You are not a man to receive his machismo at the end of a weapon and yet you continue in the business of war. You are far too smart not to know the outcome. I wonder if there are times you regret the office. Is this job sapping you (by way of ugly concessions) of all compassion for the victims of war, poverty, and big business? I have reached my tipping point. I’ve been tipped so far into anger at the politics that force the hand of decency to pound the weak. Sign me: Disappointed Democrat
FROM: WordPress.com News firstname.lastname@example.org
I have a blog at wordpress and lately I’ve been getting a lot of spam – people telling me they can help me with my writing and enlarge my media influence – Riiiight. If one wants to feel like a fly on the cultural windshield just try blogging. And I pay for this too!
nomorerack.com – who are you and what makes you think I want to buy anything from you? I am retired – I can stay in P.J.s all day if I wish.
FROM:a new message from email@example.com subject: “Gwen we’re BEGGING”
Right – you want me to chip in $25 dollars. I like the term “chip in” as if I can just open my wallet and pull out a couple of unwanted tens and a five. But, I won’t. Consider my actions just a by-product of being an educated & reasonable member of the electorate who compares facts before allowing the knee to jerk upwards causing brain damage due to constant concussion.
FROM: firstname.lastname@example.org—Gwen we’re BEGGING
Still? Beg all you want but when you can provide more jobs for people with no money – maybe I’ll consider donating again. Not now.
FROM: @coursera.org subject: ” – The Fiction of Relationship”
I’ve signed up for this lit course just for the title “The Fiction of Relationship” — says so much on so many levels
FROM: Revolt! 5 Biographies of American Upstarts, R…
R-e-v-o-l-t – six letters guaranteed to warm the necrotic edges of a 70’s cranky old heart
FROM: email@example.com subject: “Michelle Obama video: (add your name)”
I add my name because I adore you Michelle – a real first-lady – Obama. I truly hope you are not too bitter once your family leaves the white house. But then again, you wouldn’t be bitter – real women don’t indulge in bitterness.
FROM: Guy Cecil, DSCC firstname.lastname@example.org
FROM: email@example.com subject: “FW: All Hope is Lost”
Yes it is – more than you’ll ever know
FROM: Daily Kos “Unreal: Rick Scott refuses to debate Charlie Crist
It used to be just the cream rose to the top but lately every manner of excrement can rise to the level of “newsworthy” – shame.
FROM: firstname.lastname@example.org subject: “Why you should give $5”
Wendy, I love your spirit and your last name but the DSCC needs to put up, shut-up and fully fund you. My $5 is nothing compared to the BIG BUCKS your future colleagues in congress have – hit them up for money.
FROM: Jo-Ann Fabrics “20% off Your Total Purchase In-Store & Online!”
You have the wrong woman here – it was my mother who was the family seamstress. I’ll forward this e-mail to her. “But Gwen, your mother is dead.” Oh. I’ll forward it anyway – Google can find her
FROM:policymic.com subject: “The Student Protests Barely Anyone Is Talking About”
Protests!? About damn time!
FROM: Walmart email@example.com subject: Friendly prices.”
Oh don’t get me started! I have not stepped across the threshold of this store in 20 + years. I consider them ground-zero in our capitalism run amok. “friendly prices” indeed! You are the largest employer in the country TRY PAYING YOUR EMPLOYEES A LIVING WAGE – like you do with WM workers in Germany.
FROM: firstname.lastname@example.org subject: “STUNNING Comeback”
Yeah! And all without my $25
FROM:email@example.com “Woo-hoo!! Supreme Court in state with key Senate race kills voter ID law”
Does this mean I can go down to the courthouse and find justice rather than “Just Us”?
FROM: RealAge by Sharecare firstname.lastname@example.org
Know my real age? I fell down a flight of stairs a month ago – quite frightening to know just how old I am. I’ve walked 50 miles since.
FROM: How much sleep is too much?
No such thing as too much sleep…
Stop – you’re embarrassing yourself
FROM: email@example.com subject: “we. fell. short. (14820)”
In more ways than you’ll ever know. I am one of the three democrats living in this zip code — P.S. the other two are related to me
FROM:message from moveon.org “VOTE: Corruption in 30 Seconds”
I’m not surprised. This is the wealthiest congress in the history of the republic. Candidates who don’t get rich UNTIL after they are elected – makes one wonder (not really) just how much a congressperson’s soul is worth.
FROM: Republican catastrophe firstname.lastname@example.org
Like I said – we can only hope
FROM:email@example.com subject: “Fighting Ebola”, AFT
As if teachers don’t have enough to fight! Hmm…let’s see – administrators, ebola, administrators, ebola… – so many viruses so little time